They make chocolate almond butter

We took Sebastian to the allergist the other day. (As an aside, let me just say that doing COBRA when you are temporarily unemployed is a much, much bigger pain in the butt than I had planned for it to be. I’ve been paying out of pocket for almost everything since August. Prescriptions are almost impossible to be reimbursed for. Henry and Sebastian got $1,200 worth of vaccinations in September that I’m still getting bills for despite my directing the clinic to our [haha] insurance.)

ANYWAY, SOCIALIST RANT OVER, we took Sebastian to the allergist because a) he is always sniffling and coughing and it’s barely controlled by a twice-daily dose of Allegra and b) when he was about a year old, eggs and pecans made him throw up one time each, so to this day, he’s never had scrambled eggs or any nuts. The allergist I took him to back then seemed to think he might outgrow these sensitivities, so I wanted to re-check. A boy needs his PB&J.

So the poor kid got stuck about a million times with those plastic irritant things, and he cried, and it sucked, and his back blossomed into a field of red puffy welts. (We didn’t take a picture; the doctor told us after it was too late that most parents whip out their phones and take a shot. I could have blogged my kid’s welts! WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY.)

So the pollen, mold, and animal allergy reactions were very dramatic; they basically looked like my kid had been flogged with a pole. No surprise there. But the food allergy tests showed no reaction at all, except for one huge, angry crimson lump, the biggest reaction out of all the tests. What was this offending ingredient? HAZELNUTS.

Steve and I were both like, Wha? What are hazelnuts in?

Then it hit me: My boy is facing a life without Nutella.

That’s OK, though; Nutella is only good in crepes. And on toast. And straight out of the jar. He will not be missing anything.

When the doctor checked the results of the test, he said, “Whoa. You’ve got one allergic kid there.” He also noted Seb’s constant under-eye circles, which I have, too. (Steve calls them the “Burgess bags.” No jury in the world, etc.) Those are apparently an indicator of chronic allergies.

Interestingly, he also seemed to think that Sebastian’s speech delay/language disorder could be linked to allergies. That’s a theory I’d never heard before, and I’ve heard a lot. A LOT. (A LOT.)

(ETA — To clarify, he said that Sebastian’s chronic allergies could be blocking his hearing, leading to speech/language problems, NOT that allergies themselves were causing his issues. I don’t think this is the cause, because we’ve had his hearing checked, but it’s a possibility.)

So now we’re left to ponder the pros and cons of allergy shots — not just for Sebastian, but for me, too. And maybe Steve. We’re a pretty miserable little family during those times of year when the spores lift into the wind like tiny harbingers of snot.

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