A Good Family Halloween

For Halloween, Steve always carefully crafts a costume over a period of months. This year, he had a porkpie hat, a canvas jacket, Terminator-style sunglasses, a painstakingly curated goatee and mustache, and one pound of blue rock candy. A pitch-perfect (though unbald) Heisenberg. He won $100 in his office contest for best costume, but sadly, his pumpkin-carving-contest entry was disqualified.

What a travesty of justice.

What a travesty of justice.

Sebastian asked to be “a skeleton,” which confused me, because I almost had to pull him out of the Perot Museum kid’s camp this summer because there was a life-size skeleton model in the classroom wearing a sombrero and poncho, and the grinning visage made Sebastian frantic with its scariness. Maybe he is facing his fears?

Henry was Yoda, because he is a HUGE Star Wars fan the costume from last year still fit.

I dressed as the World’s Most Extreme Introvert.

On Halloween night, right at the onset of dark, we set a bucket of lollipops on a chair in front of our door and set off in search of more, better-quality candy. I was hoping for TONS of Reese’s products, because Sebastian hates peanuts and I could relieve him of those without resorting to misdirection and trickery.

For the third year in a row, our neighborhood was mostly dark. I find it irritating, to be honest. Be a good neighbor. Put out a bucket of candy and an uncarved pumpkin. I know you’re retired and have embraced utter misanthropy. I sympathize, because I’m 30 years younger and I have, too. But there’s a Walgreen’s down the block with store-brand candy. C’mon. I know you’re home. Your porch light is off but the back of your house is ablaze with the flickering light of CSI: Miami.

Anyway, because 4/5 of the houses were dark, we had to abandon our teachers-and-middle-managers neighborhood and cross the street to the doctors-and-lawyers neighborhood, where the pickings were slightly better. Sebastian (no skull mask; too scary) and Henry (seven-toothed smile) killed with cuteness and spread joy and rainbows all over the place, utterly earning every piece of candy in their buckets (Spider-Man and generic skulls-and-bats).

When we got home, we let Henry have one lollipop which he spat onto the carpet after 30 seconds. Sebastian got to pick out a few fun-sized candies and he left the rest for the Candy Fairy, who used Amazon’s one-day delivery to leave a toy plane in trade.

For this, the Candy Fairy got 12 oz of Whoppers and bubble gum.

For this, the Candy Fairy got 12 oz of Whoppers and bubble gum.

He thought that was a pretty good deal. I did too, especially since there were not nearly enough peanut butter cups in his haul.

When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not!

When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not!

Pay no attention to the toddler freakout in the lower left.

Pay no attention to the toddler freakout in the lower left.

Make it rain!

Make it rain!

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “A Good Family Halloween

  1. Jen

    That candy fairy trade in idea is GENIUS. I will remember that for some day when it is relevant to my life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s